On the Other Side

The last time I wrote, I was at the end of a very long journey. Now, here I am, on the other side. I thought it was time—FINALLY—for a whole bunch of positive, encouraging, affirming, awesome, warm and fuzzy, optimistic updates and news…it’s been too long!

The Big Hurt
As most of you know, I had surgery on November 30, 2010. I had a 360 degree global lower lumbar fusion – say that three times! By the time the day of surgery finally came, I was totally over hurting and anticipating feeling better, so I wasn’t all that nervous. I can’t say the same for Matt and my mom, but they were my rocks. The last thing I remember was being all suited up in my purple slipper socks, with electrodes attached everywhere, and a tremendous feeling of calm – both from the drugs and from knowing I would wake up with a new back.

In the short term, I woke up with extreme pain and nausea, beta dyne all over my torso, glue in my scalp from the electrodes, bruises all over from being manhandled on the operating table, a belly the size of a soccer ball, and a pair of very attractive mesh underwear. I’ll tell you that after what I experience post-surgery. With Matt and my mom by my side, I went through three days in the hospital of puking, sleeping, shuffling to the bathroom, doing laps around the nursing stating, learning how to put on my brace, watching too much lame TV, and eating my way through the various modified diets. Through the blinding moments of pain, on the first day after surgery, I closed my eyes, blocked out the hospital noise, and knew I was better.

The next week was a routine of two Percocet every four hours; trying to avoid laughing and sneezing; sleeping in my big comfy mumu nightgowns that my brilliant mother purchased (trying to deal with clothes was not easy); between waves of drug-induced sleep, hearing Matt and my mom bond; letting the kitties take turns comforting me by never leaving my lap; and, watching a ton of reality TV and Netflix. I eventually was able to take little trips down the block with my old lady walker. And, before I knew it, was walking unaided with my corset-style back brace.

Fast forward through going back to work too early, working half days, and finally adjusting to an 8-hour day…through a cornucopia of post surgery aches, pains, spasms, knots, sore spots, bruises, healing scars, exhaustion, and …through 2-week, 6-week, and 3-week post-op appointments with my ortho…and here we are. As of my 3-month check-up, I am still not 100% fused, but the doc says I look great. I can’t do any kind of contact sports—and, although I returned to playing indoor soccer shortly before the back pain odyssey started, I think it will take a while before I am mentally ready to throw myself around again—but I’m back to regular bending, lifting, and twisting. I still feel tired and sore after any long day of walking or sitting; however, as my doc says, “it shouldn’t take massive surgery for people to learn how to listen to their bodies.”

The Big Bang
Before surgery, and after a full year of personal growth and growth as a couple, Matt and I talked a lot about our future together. Unbeknownst to most everyone, we took my grandmother’s engagement ring to a jeweler and started the process of looking for companion pieces. I swear I didn’t try that hard to find something right away, but I did. And with huge eyes, and sweaty palms I’m sure, Matt secured a down payment on our future. We had the two new contour rings sized, and Matt stashed them away somewhere in the house.

For Christmas, we joined my parents in Vegas, which was a bit difficult after surgery, though the trip was scheduled so far in advance, we couldn’t cancel it. Anyhoo, Matt took the opportunity of being together to ask my father for permission to marry me. I’m going to keep the details private; however, let’s just say that the humor of how it all went down was a microcosm of how “not by the book” our relationship has been. In the end, I actually ending up knowing that Matt had spoken to my father.

With New Year’s Eve approaching, I started to wonder if a proposal was looming. Matt told me he had made plans for us both on the 30th and on NYE. On January 30, on an atypical, frigidly freezing night, we suited up in the remnants of our warm clothes, and headed to Surprise #1. I don’t know why, but I just assumed that he would propose on NYE, so I didn’t suspect anything.

We arrived at the Desert Botanical Garden for the Las Noches de las Luminarias. Matt had also purchased tickets for a wonderful Italian dinner, complete with dessert and hot cider. We wandered the gardens, enjoying more luminaries than I could possible count, and a dozen different types of bands, carolers and storytellers. When, at last, we approached a long, quiet path, with private benches – a good place to take a break from walking. After only a few minutes, there was a tiny window when there was no one around. Matt stood up, spun around to face me, and proposed. Of course, I said yes! And so, we were engaged on January 30, at the DBG, on the Plants & People Trail.

New Year’s Eve became a wonderful celebration for us – an end to the year that defined our relationship and that molded who we each needed to become. We ate a seafood dinner, found ourselves a hotel room in Tempe, downed a bottle of sparking chardonnay, went to see Paul Rodriguez at the Improve (Surprise #2), and painted the town red. What a simply perfect end to 2010.

The Big Change
As the aftermath of my surgery and the proposal and the new year began to fade, Matt and I continued our talks of the future. It didn’t take much to eventually realize that our hearts were somewhere else. And so, after much debate, analysis and some planning, we decided to quit our jobs and move to Pittsburgh!

Our last days at work are next Friday; and, we leave that Sunday for the northeast driving a 20’ U-Haul, towing my car, and worrying about our two kitties (who will be high on tuna-flavored kitty valium). We will be living in the attic of one of my dad’s rental houses, and will be selling antiques and remodeling the whole house.

I’m sure we’ll also be working odd jobs here and there, but our goal for the next few months is freedom and happiness—to take a much needed breather before getting married, buying a house, and having kids.

We are getting married July 30 at Sandy Pond in New York, in the presence a small group of our closest family and a few friends. My cousin Topher ordained himself online to marry us, and Matt and I are writing not only our own vows, but the entire ceremony. We hope to have the biggest and best party of our lives!

And so, this is the final edition of the ‘Arizona’ blog. Look for a new blog as soon as we get through our last week at work, our 4-day drive to Pittsburgh, and a hectic first few weeks of April. Thank you to everyone who followed my journey in the southwest; and, I hope you come along for the ride on this new chapter of my life.

XOXO

--Chelsea