David Chase is a DICK

WARNING: If you haven't seen the final Sopranos episode, stop reading immediately.

I feel violated. I feel sick. I feel like I'm going to vomit. (And, it doesn't help that the Spurs are spanking the Cavs right now.) What I just watched violates the laws of all that we know of tragedy and drama; however, it's almost exactly what I'd expect from Mr. David Chase: frustration, anger, and emotionally-charged disappointment. Let's call it digital blue balls.

[On a side note, Brian just called. He's been watching taped versions of the show. He says, "Before you say anything, let me tell you a story. So, we're watching the end of episode and, all of a sudden, right as Meadow is about to walk into the diner, Home Improvement comes on." He wants to know what he missed. I said, "I hate to break it to you, but that really was the end. She parks her car on the third try, runs across the street, and we hear the tinkling bells on the door. Then nothing for a few seconds. Then the credits." I can't believe I had to break the misery and devastation to a fellow Sopranos junky. I need a drink...]

What is Chase's season-ending M.O.? Every season concludes with some type of family gathering--be it a holiday or a funeral, we are always left with the big picture. And we're always left with some sort of anti-resolution. This--the final episode ever--has not followed suit. And I have to believe it's for a reason. 'Cause if it's not, I might be forced to change my ungodly high opinion of David Chase.

With all my mafioso loving heart and soul, I'm thinking there's a movie in the works. This episode ended, not with the whole family together, but with Meadow outside and, instead of one last shot of the family, we don't even see her walk into the diner. There has to been some significance in that.

Up to this point, Season 6 has reeked of The Godfather. And the facts of this episode add up to some interesting questions. Why leave Sil alive? Why make a big stink about an indictment? Why create tension with Meadow in the last 60 seconds? Why fill the episode with awkward, angled, off-setting cinematography? Why end a legacy of over 5,000 minutes of genius like this?

If there's a movie, it will start with Meadow being killed in front of her family. AJ mentioned to his therapist how he loved watching his car burn. He's the same old douche bag, loser of a character. He's driving a BMW and working on a second-rate movie. He wants to open a club. If there's a movie, I say he starts working with his Dad. Now we're talking.

All Tony ever wanted was to break the chain. That's why he was in therapy. That's why he has bent over backwards to protect his children. His whole life has been about insulating his family from the business. I say this story is not over with Tony as a happy, successful character. That means Meadow needs to die; AJ needs to get made; Sil or Paulie need to die; and, for Christ's sake, the goddamn ducks need to come back. That is the only appropriate ending for the Sopranos. This story needs to come full circle, with Tony right back where he started. He has to fail.

Let's all be patient and hope that stewing in our juices is what Chase wants. That, in a few weeks, when we're good and ready to say "Fuck you!" and sell off our season box sets, HBO will announce plans for a movie. On the other hand, David Chase is a DICK. He's never cared about his audience more than his characters--that's what makes him great. So, if this really is the end, if there's no movie, if I'm expected to somehow find a way to recover from the cut-to-black with no music during the credits, I wouldn't be surprised at all...